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A Holiday In Normandy - Prologue
Leading up to 18 June 2026
By Ren Withnell
Sharon says "Beth (Sharon's eldest) is organising a holiday in France, perhaps Dordogne". Sharon's family once holidayed there and they liked it. "How about... right... we ride down there and join them for a week then ride back?" That sounds interesting so I google maps where Dordogne is. It's south and west of central France, quite a journey for 2 people who don't like to ride big miles daily.
Dordogne (door-doyne) is about here, roughly, ish.
Bogger was down in that area for his recent "Best Feet Forwards" trip. Not only that but he went there and back in 10 days so of course it's perfectly possible. But - there's always a but - Sharon and I's definition of a nice holiday is not the same as Bogger's. Bogger's a hard assed mile munching chap whereas we are soft assed "gently gently" riding types that like to rest and see things and meander.
I look at riding there over 4 days, that would require 200 miles per day if we go via Calais. We could sail from Portsmouth to St Malo, that would reduce the distance from 800 miles to 580 miles giving us 145 miles per day to cover. That's more like it.
Hmmmm, we're not there yet. The ferry is expensive, plus there's timing issues etc etc. We discuss and we talk, we "ummm" and we "errrr". It's all very well and good saying 4 days to get there and 4 days back but that's 4 days of decamp, load up, travel, unload, set up camp, then find food. I've covered this before, for us that's a slog. Many more discussions follow between Sharon and I as well as Beth, and Meg too (Sharon's youngest).
I'm making a point of trying not to steer anyone anywhere, yet failing badly. It seems to me if Sharon and I are to make this trip on the bikes within our default 2 weeks off work window and spend a week there then Dordogne is still technically possible but it would unlikely be the nice calm relaxing holiday we'd be looking for. Somewhere along the line we find ourselves leaning towards the much more achievable area of Normandy.
Ah yeah, that's more achievable for a couple of lightweights.
The girls seem amenable to this notion, I now have new concerns. Now I'm thinking there's not a lot I know about Normandy, what if it's dull and boring and rain soaked and there's nothing to do? Then I'll have Beth with her partner Dave, and Megan with her partner Stan asking me why the hell I suggested such a drab, dull, cold, and miserable location. You know me dear reader, if there's nothing to worry about I'll find something.
I'll spare you the rest of the details but eventually we're all settled on Normandy. Beth manages to find a gite large enough to accommodate (note this I'll be asking questions later) Beth, Megan, Dave, Stan, Luke (Sharon's grandson), Sharon, and myself. I daresay Beth's done quite well, when the cost is spread between us it's quite affordable for a week's accommodation.
Now - logistics. Beth and Dave are flying to Paris and hiring a car. This is because Luke is only 1 year old and a road trip might be a lot of hassle. Megan and Stan will drive down with Sharon and I while also carrying a few of the extra accoutrements a 1 year old sprog requires that you can't get on a plane. So far so good.
Just like Ewan and Charlie we have our own support vehicle with us this time. Meg says "Hi".
Next Sharon, Meg, Stan and I need to organise the road trip to get there and back. The best way across the Channel for Normandy is the Newhaven Dieppe route. However the ferry times heading outbound are "unhelpful" so we look at the Chunnel. Eventually we end up with a night in Bedfordshire to break up the journey to the Chunnel, a night just south of Calais after the Chunnel, 7 nights in Normandy, a night in Selsey after catching the Newhaven-Dieppe ferry, and a final night in Hartlebury before getting home.
It all got terribly complicated terribly quickly - but we're all booked in.
Those evil souls among you will be saddened to hear there's not a campsite nor tent to be found in our cunning and devious plan. It's all about bungalows and gites and static caravans and even a hotel. This means (hopefully) there'll be no tales of me pitching up in a large puddle nor having the tent collapse in a tempest. I ought to apologise for the potential lack of suffering but I'm not going to, I've done enough suffering for this blog already.
This is also quite different from many of the other trips The Dynamic Muppets have previously undertaken. This will be much more akin to a holiday in France with family. Sharon and I will be on our bikes but the kids will have cars. There's a short road trip there and back but we'll be staying put for a week in a nice French gite. Ho well, they say variety is the spice of life so let's see how this pans out eh.
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A Holiday In Normandy - Prologue
France! Well northern France because our soft arsed lazy writers can't be bothered to go any further. It's time for excuses and explanations as to why The Dynamic Muppets are off on holiday and not an exciting expedition.
Reader's Comments
Ian Soady¹ said :-
I look forward to reading more!
07/07/2026 09:53:48 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
You do love a bit of France don't you Ian.
07/07/2026 10:09:47 UTC
Upt'North ¹ said :-
Hmmmmmm, nice. No suffering you say, but you're with family, right?
Just sayin.
Look forward to more on your trip...but it got me thinkin. You and our beloved Madame du Soleil tend to ride somewhere, then stay a few days, then ride back. Whilst you are at your destination you tend to have day rides, where you seem to be out for a fair amount of time. Couldn't those day rides just become the journey, what's the difference. If you're not camping then you don't need to carry too much and packing is a two minute job as long as you've given it some thought.
We don't do anything that different to yourselves, we'll ride for maybe 5 or 6 days, park up, chill, probably not ride, before riding some more and maybe another stop. We're usually parked up by 4 at the very latest and try not to be mileage driven too much. The miles are irrelevant anyway, it's the hours in the saddle. 5 hours can easily cover 300 miles on quicker roads but that still leaves another 19 in the day to eat, relax, drink and sleep.
Please don't think I'm criticising your choice of holiday, I'm not, it's just that I think you've probably convinced yourself you shouldn't go far because it's hard and I don't think it is.
But what do I know....nowt.
Upt and pensive. And waiting for a heatwave.
07/07/2026 11:27:12 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
I see what you mean Upt'. There is little doubt we could get farther afield if we weren't camping because at the end of each day we don't need to pitch up, get the sleeping kit set up, find food and cook food... then in the morning we don't need to decamp and ram everything into stuffsacks before we even turn a wheel. Plus sleeping in the tent is never quite the same as sleeping in a comfortable real bed.
You say you'll ride 5-6 days before resting. Ideally, in a perfect world, we'd like to travel a day, rest a day, travel a day, rest a day... repeat. It's not a perfect world and we can do travel, travel, travel, then rest. Yes even on our rest days we'll ride and on this trip there's never a day where I don't actually ride somewhere. On our rest days we choose our ride dependant on our mood and the weather, if we ride at all. You'll see that happen on this trip as an example.
It's not a question of "we cannot do that". It's a question of "do we want to do that". If you said there's a million quid in Dordogne, all you have to do is ride there to get it in the next 2 days - I would bloody well do it. If you said let's ride to Dordogne in a way that would be fun, relaxing, interesting, and chilled then I'd want a week - each way.
In my "Comparison is the thief of joy" post you said "try to enjoy every day and everything you do". This is our way to help steer ourselves towards that goal by not overstretching ourselves. I read Andy Gray's stories with a degree of envy. He seems to have no stress over miles, in fact he relishes them. You yourself seem to achieve considerable distances without any fluster too. I wish I was like that but I'm not, and trying to be makes me unhappy. I am who I am, we are who we are, we do what we can.
As for the next heatwave - I'm thinking of installing a paddling pool in the kitchen - do you think it'll work?
07/07/2026 12:30:01 UTC
Upt'North ¹ said :-
There's no criticism Ed and Madame of Much Moisture. Some folk jump on a plane to Benidorm, Bodrum or some other location that I hope never to encounter but it's their vacation break, not mine. Indeed our little Ian seems to love all that France has to offer, I'm somewhere in the middle but it's not somewhere I would avoid at all costs. I've enjoyed many parts of Northern France amongst the other more far flung bits of France land.
This heatwave news is making me nuts, OK I'm already nuts, but! It's the 7th July, we have 17c's, light rain and 20 mph+ winds. That is not a heatwave! I blame socialism and Trump and LePen and Putin....but never you Ed. I hope you had decent riding weather in France because that really was a heatwave. But I'll wait for the jolly jape to unfold.
You might want to take the kickboards off the units first.
Upt.
07/07/2026 12:56:46 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
Kickboards, units? I'll have you know I use industrial shelving and concrete floors in my kitchen. Yes I concur, it is unhygienic and un-aesthetic for a man to live on his own too long.
Was there a heatwave while we were away? Maybe, you'll have to wait and see.
07/07/2026 13:57:48 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
After decades of exploring the farther flung parts of France, in the last few years we've been cotent with the more easily accessible areas like Brittany, Normany and the Loire. All of which have some lovely places to stay, visit and eat. In my bike touring days they were just places to pass through. Although the early morning mist shrouded Cotentin peninsula was always a joy.
So looking forward to Ren's hints and tips.
07/07/2026 14:54:59 UTC
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