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Travel StoriesA Holiday In Normandy
Hot And Simple Normandy
Ride Date 22 June 2026
By Ren Withnell
Blummin' 'eck it's 'ot! It's around 0630 when I stir, butt naked and no sheets upon my person. The air is already heavy with heat and the notion of getting dressed seems counter intuitive. Alas not having the place to ourselves makes it prudent to put on some shorts and a tshirt, Sharon's kids don't need to be traumatised by my nakedness.
It looks like we might be in for a warm day today.
Yeah, this is different. This is a holiday not a trip nor a tour, not an adventure nor an exploration. This is me chatting to Stan about fans for cooling and how it's going at work. This is breakfast in a kitchen with a kettle and utensils and a toaster. This is strange, I am to my surprise at ease with it all.
I'm also running on a much slower timescale. I'm used to being up and about and at'em, grumbling at Sharon to get up so we can get going. I'm lounging in the kitchen when eventually Sharon suggests we take a short stroll. According to the information sheets there's a church down the road, behind which is the paper and glass recycling. We've a few bits to recycle but this is more just for the walk.
Sharon is beside herself with joy! It's so damnably annoying to see her so happy. Why is she filled with joie-de-vivre? The sun is out and the air is warm, that's why. I'm already melting but this climate is for her the pinnacle of perfection. It's only 10 minutes walk down empty single track lanes to the church but it takes 20 minute as she smells each flower, takes pictures of plants and insects, then skips to the next curious bit of nature. Pfffffft!
Église Saint-Thurien de Saint-Thurien is an old village church, surprisingly large considering the number of surrounding properties could easily be counted on my fingers. Despite the lack of apparent local population it's well tended with all kind of wondrous blooms and green things growing in abundance around it. Of course Her Ladyship is now in heaven, telling me about the whatsitium and that summatonius. I listen and agree in the same way she does when I'm on about high lift camshafts and timing advance.
Sharon is in her elements - sunshine, warmth, flowers, and green stuff.
We shove a few bottles and flattened cardboard bits into the appropriate holes then walk back. No, I don't know what that is sweetie, but there's a lot of it about here. She has her phone out and some wacky piece of A.I. technology instantly recognises the crop as flax. Flax? Yeah flax. That stuff linen is made out of. Well I never, apparently this region and swathes of Northern France are big flax producers. By the time we return via the power of Google we are now both flax experts.
Flax... apparently.
Another brew, and another hour in the pool. Without the pool I myself would now be a pool of molten Ren. But no, I can't spend all day just loitering around here, I need to do something, anything. Come on Sharon, get yer bike gear on, we're going to a randomly selected cafe in a randomly selected town in France.
Sharon is on the back of my bike. Yes she likes to ride her Z500 but she still enjoys sitting on the back of my bike. She can look at all the pretty flowers and admire the views without having to deal with priorite-a-droit and stray pedestrians. Admittedly the first stop for supermarket fuel in Pont Audemer is hardly picturesque.
The countryside is congenial, it's all fields, farms, forest, and familiar. Gentle lumps, not hills, then broad open fields, then dense woodland for a while, then more fields. Dinky villages (50kmph, 30kmh, 50kmh...) then repeat. We stop in the small town of Moyaux for a deep glug of water, now warm and un-refreshing from the hot top box.
It's hot in all that gear in Moyaux.
Livarot-Pays-d'Auge is the randomly selected town, Brasserie de La Terrasse is the randomly selected cafe, sweaty is our current state, and there's a something of a slope to the main road making parking fiddly. I hope to goodness they have air conditioning within. They don't, but they do appear to understand how to manage the air flow and it is comparatively cool within. Mercy, merci.
Livarot-Pays-d'Auge, quintessentially French.
The chap behind the bar is friendly yet he's clearly confused as to why 2 people would be wearing jackets and pants and boots and gloves on such a scorchingly hot day. He's even more befuddled when he hears me speaking with Sharon in a foreign tongue, then a tad frustrated when I only order 2 colas. "Autre chose?", anything else? "Non merci, c'est combien?" It's quiet this Monday afternoon, he's down on sales, while he's perfectly polite I sense his thinking. The cold colas hit the spot, lovely.
Another brief stop in another village, Épaignes, more warm water, more sweating and a few photos.
Épaignes - complete with flowers and neatly trimmed hedges.
We're back before teatime. I wouldn't call today's ride a rip roaring roller coaster of fabulous bends or stunning terrain or cultural enlightenment. Perhaps that's the point? To only see the "est" (b-est, high-est, pretty-est etc) of a place is to get the wrong idea of a place. I now know in that section of Normandy there is a lot of farmland, agreeable towns and villages, and seemingly not a lot else! I'll tell you what though - the places we've seen are clean and feel cared for, lovely rather than impressive.
The evening disappears in a blur of food and splashing around in the pool. By the time I'm getting into bed the sun has set and the air is cooling, but nowhere near enough. I fear it's going to be another hot and sticky night as Sharon faffs around with a big fan, shutters, and doors. It must be really really hot if even Sharon is trying to cool things down.
Someone's about to get a ball to the face...
Link to a rough route of our ride on Google Maps... for Upt' - Google Maps Rough Route
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A Holiday In Normandy - Prologue
France! Well northern France because our soft arsed lazy writers can't be bothered to go any further. It's time for excuses and explanations as to why The Dynamic Muppets are off on holiday and not an exciting expedition.
Bedfordshire Is Not In France
And they're off to France! Well Bedfordshire today, but they will get to France eventually... hopefully... maybe?
Struggling Into France
It's time to go to France, alas there's far too much time to go to France. Ren is early, the trains are late, it's hot, and it's disorganised. Oh and Sharon's life flashes before her eyes - or was it a Transit van?
Finally To The Gite
It's a much less stressful day's ride today. Good weather, a sensible mileage to cover, and no reason to rush. Fear not Ren will find a few things to gripe about.
Hot In Honfleur
It's hot, it's busy, and it's all a bit odd. In spite of all this and some confusing food Ren might possibly at risk of almost having an OK day?
Hot And Simple Normandy
Sharon is in her element, Ren is at risk of melting as a heat wave hits Normandy. There's a little motorcycling and a lot of pool time, plus some sweating.
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Travel StoriesA Holiday In Normandy